The silver lining is showing

I’ve been better…

How are all of you, my awesome readers?

I’ve been banished to my house so as not to make a fool out of myself with poor behavior.  My filter isn’t functioning on all cylinders.  Also I look like I don’t feel good.   I’ve been in the dark place for a week and a half now and only today did I start to feel human again.  Last week I had to add 2 new medications into my repertoire but they didn’t seem to put a dent in my anger and dark cloud.  Yesterday I had to double both new ones and as today went on I started to feel human again.  Once I watched Ellen I was certainly better 🙂  I was banned from networking for 2 weeks as per doctor’s orders.  I’m getting a little antsy now that I’m feeling a little better.

I am back from getting my Bailey girl.  She has sooooooo much fun at “day care”.  She didn’t want to leave although she was very happy to see me. (Loved every second of the kisses)  I actually missed the little Princess.  I did truly enjoy my meals with her gone.  Food tastes better if you’re not pushing her off of you.  She’s so much better with that, unless you’re eating something really good smelling. 😉

So I’ve been trying to read more consistently.  I try everyday but I’m not able to process or see every day, I think it’s my medications.  To get around this I have an Audible account and listen to books.  I listen in the car generally.  I just started Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Success Think Like a Success.  I’m loving it so far!  My other book that I’m reading is Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles.  I’m super slow reading but I’m liking them so far!

I’m extremely self conscious about my Bipolar Disorder.  I feel like everyone’s judging me and thinking I don’t like them because I flake on things.  I’ll change my RSVP to things at the last minute.  I haven’t figured out how to say I’m in a mixed state and not having a good day.  I generally don’t give a reason because I don’t owe it to anyone, but I feel bad.  That’s my problem: I always feel bad.  Oh well, I’ll figure out something.  You know…that’s it: I’ll just tell them I’m not having a good day…problem solved!!!

I'm just feeling this right now...it's true!

I’m just feeling this right now…it’s true!

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Relaxation on the home front…liking it!

Happy Hump Day!

I’m having a Bailey free day.  That is how I’m able to actually get a post done. 🙂

I love her to pieces but she’s requiring a ton of attention that really needs to be spent getting things accomplished. So My Love being the awesome and amazing man that he is, offered to get Bailey into daycare one day a week.  This is amazing because now I can do my calls, maybe vacuum since she hates it, my opportunities are endless!  Also she LOVES Nancy and Mike at Bark at the World Petsitting.  That’s where she was for the week we went to Boston.  We saw her in pictures on Facebook already LOVING IT!!!

I have been in a rough patch with my lovely BPD.  It’s been flip flopping for almost 2 months now.  We had to add a couple of prescriptions until it breaks.  More prescriptions means more side effects…yippee dee do da…my ass.  I just feel so frustrated…Adding in new meds makes me feel like a puppet until it levels out.  Down in the dumps one day, flying high the next…it’s like playing the lottery.

Last week we went for a family road trip: My Love had some work to do in Durango, CO.  I decided to tag along with the pup.  Damn, it was GORGEOUS!  San Juan National Park is a bucket list type of gorgeous with the foliage and mountain views…man oh man…The Aspen trees, the pine trees, great view…and it just goes on forever!

I’ve been banned from networking since my filter is nonexistent and I’m in over talk overdrive.  It’s for the best. 🙂 So I’m relaxing, and watching Ellen in 2 minutes!!!

Puppy on the bed...nailed it! Bailey strikes!!! Gorgeous Aspen trees

I need a real camera to do that justice!

I need a real camera to do that justice!

A bit of this week

So My Love had a quick business trip for a couple of days in state. Six hour drive 3 days total. So pup and I decided to tag along. These are just a small sampling of the insane fall gorgeousness that Colorado has to offer.

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I QUIT! BPD can go s#it in a hat!

I’m so annoyed and blah and miserable! I have an amazing life, great people in it, a beautiful fresh puppy and an absolutely awesome boyfriend! We have great plans this weekend, first of which is a David Nail concert tonight! Why in the hell am I so disconnected????? I feel needy and in need of a pep talk and a magic happy pill. Obviously the hundreds of dollars I spend a month on medications isn’t enough…
I’m not trying to complain or be the oh poor me annoying person HOWEVER my blog is where I’m me. Unfortunately lately, this IS me.
I am so very frustrated, that is all.

Bruins are on!!!

Welcome back hockey!!!
I am quite pleased to hear hockey at my house. 😃 It’s odd to not have October baseball. Thanks for a great season Boston!! I’m loving the Patriots so far!! Bring in the hockey!!!

I’ve been quite lost today. I’ve been all out of whack with my Bipolar Disorder recently. I feel like I’m on auto-pilot for a blah day. I’m recovering. 😃

Traveling really poops me out! It is compounded by the go go go go theme of our visit…same old same old right!? Family time, wedding, apple picking, bestie night, seeing my Gram at her nursing home and my Dad’s plaque…exhaustion that is both physical and mental.

Something happened before we went to Boston that’s resonated with me. I saw an article on Facebook I think, and it was a woman who blogs for herself about Huntington’s Disease. It helps her to know other people are out there who are feeling what she feels and hurts in very similar ways to her. That’s what I want with my blog. I want people to read my blog and be relieved to know that they’re NOT alone.

I just lost my Dad to HD in January…I know the pain. I’ve been watching my Gram deteriorate for the past almost 20 years. I know what it’s like to see my Dad shake and slur and think I’m my Sister.

I feel like I’ve been fundraising for HD forever. It’s a part of who I am and part of my faith in a cure. I pray for a cure, I pray for treatments, I pray that no one else will have to feel like this anymore.

So I’m broadening my horizons for my blog. Mental health issues and Huntington’s Disease are where I’ll reside. 😃 They go hand in hand a lot for me. I’ve been talking about myself a lot and I apologize, however, it’s good for me to make it known.

I want to be your go to girl to get a hug and an understanding squeeze from. We can be there going through it together. We got this!!

So, are you going through it too?

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Thanks a lot Pinterest

So it has just occurred to me that I missed new post Monday…..and I’ll tell you why: Pinterest.
I was looking through some pins in my feed and they were great pins and they led me to great blogs about great things and I got caught up following the links and the people guest posting on these new blogs I’m finding. I was so excited to be learning all of this cool new stuff for my branding and growing my blog and increasing my visibility. New sites for themes for my blog….next thing it know, I’m falling asleep on the couch with a million tabs open on my Safari and my laptop is close to over heating….and no blog post.

I’m currently sitting in the airport at the gate and My Love and I have completed breakfast and we are hard at work waiting. We are Boston bound for my cousin’s wedding this weekend.
I miss my people so it’ll be nice to see everyone…but we miss Bailey 😢

We dropped her off last night and I cried for an hour at least. I had a headache and I was stuffed up to the max from crying. That rapidly growing silly pup has my heart. 💜💜

I’ll try and have a couple good pictures from the wedding to post, but I will for sure have some food pictures, you know I’m good for those!

We did really well with eating well and working out last week! Our agreement is working well, for the first week anyway. 😃

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