The silver lining is showing

I’ve been better…

How are all of you, my awesome readers?

I’ve been banished to my house so as not to make a fool out of myself with poor behavior.  My filter isn’t functioning on all cylinders.  Also I look like I don’t feel good.   I’ve been in the dark place for a week and a half now and only today did I start to feel human again.  Last week I had to add 2 new medications into my repertoire but they didn’t seem to put a dent in my anger and dark cloud.  Yesterday I had to double both new ones and as today went on I started to feel human again.  Once I watched Ellen I was certainly better 🙂  I was banned from networking for 2 weeks as per doctor’s orders.  I’m getting a little antsy now that I’m feeling a little better.

I am back from getting my Bailey girl.  She has sooooooo much fun at “day care”.  She didn’t want to leave although she was very happy to see me. (Loved every second of the kisses)  I actually missed the little Princess.  I did truly enjoy my meals with her gone.  Food tastes better if you’re not pushing her off of you.  She’s so much better with that, unless you’re eating something really good smelling. 😉

So I’ve been trying to read more consistently.  I try everyday but I’m not able to process or see every day, I think it’s my medications.  To get around this I have an Audible account and listen to books.  I listen in the car generally.  I just started Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Success Think Like a Success.  I’m loving it so far!  My other book that I’m reading is Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles.  I’m super slow reading but I’m liking them so far!

I’m extremely self conscious about my Bipolar Disorder.  I feel like everyone’s judging me and thinking I don’t like them because I flake on things.  I’ll change my RSVP to things at the last minute.  I haven’t figured out how to say I’m in a mixed state and not having a good day.  I generally don’t give a reason because I don’t owe it to anyone, but I feel bad.  That’s my problem: I always feel bad.  Oh well, I’ll figure out something.  You know…that’s it: I’ll just tell them I’m not having a good day…problem solved!!!

I'm just feeling this right now...it's true!

I’m just feeling this right now…it’s true!

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1 Comment

  1. Sorry to hear that you are not in a great place, but I am happy that you are slowly coming out of the dark place!! I actually enjoy reading your blogs…I don’t always remember to check them, so I am happy when you put the first part on fb! Know I am always here if you need a shoulder, a sounding board or just someone to listen to your rant. Hang in there niece…this too shall pass and before you know it…you will be you once again! 🙂 Love you!!!

    Like

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