Trying to thrive in troubled waters

So it’s 10:30 at night and I haven’t gotten my thoughts down in a bit so I’m here 🙂
I’m feeling detached and anxious but I do have stuff going on like everyone else. For some reason I can’t seem to roll with the punches lately. I feel like I’m slipping away but I don’t seem to care. I don’t wanna do anything or go anywhere. It’s a big accomplishment if I get out of my pajamas.
In a couple of days we have the HDSA- Celebration of Hope and I’m so nervous. I’m confident it will be a great event but I’m feeling chicken to go.
We are having a bit of shuffling of Dad’s duties from my uncle to my sister due to a medical issue with my uncle. My sister was feeling the pressure and I’m feeling guilt as well as her pressure. It takes a big emotional toll on me.
Health challenges are unavoidable but they’re just so massive and just come out of left field. I was kicking ass on all fronts then BOOM!!! I’m all a wreck. My level of completion on all of my stuff is failing badly. It’s a big deal to get me to hit the gym 3X a week and do minimal stuff around the house. My appointments aren’t up to acceptable numbers…I need to snap out of it…..
Plus I can’t seem to figure out how to get readers?????

Cluster _uck…Anxiety through the roof…I NEED some patience

SO just when I think I’m doing well with handling things that are outside my control, God has other plans to test me; I failed.

If you follow me at all you know that my Dad is ill.  It’s not something that will go away, and it’s to the point that we should be looking into somewhere where he can move to, to be cared for.  In the mean time he lives with his siblings.  My sister is running herself ragged with errands and assistance since my uncle needs some surgery on his arm, elbow and wrist.  I’m 2000 miles away and it is a blessing and a curse.  I’d love to take the weight off of my sister…she has 2 little angels and I don’t.  She should be taking care of them, not running back and forth the 45 minute drive from her house to my Dad’s.

I can call them for take out orders and that kind of stuff….other than that, I’m helpless.  It’s just so crazy…I’m 35 and this has been going on for some time now…we’re too young for this…

Usually I can brush it all off, but today I cannot.  Everyone has an off day.  This week has been weird.  Time for some reflection and some practicing patience.  My chest is tight and I can’t seem to catch my breath.  This is exactly what this blog is for…to let me vent over my Subway club and Diet Coke.  Unfortunately I chose to eat over working out…oops.  Maybe I can just double up tomorrow.

I’ve been being mainly good since working with My Love’s sister, our Health Coach.  We go out to eat once a week and we eat clean 70-80% of the time.  I’m okay with that.  I’ve been consistently working out 3 days a week.  I’m still trying to up it to 4 times a week consistently.  This week I will do it!

I will also say that I LOVE this time of year: Red Sox post season, Patriots football…AND Bruins now too!!!  I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!

Boston Strong!!!  (I ordered a bracelet that has a portion go to the One Fund) 

Happy Sunday night!

So another weekend has come to an end and My Love is back at work.  I’m about to fill up my week with healthy food choices, cardio and weight training, networking meetings and business exposures.  Not to mention some shopping…I love me some bargain shopping 🙂  Coupons are fun!!!

I’m pleased to report that I finally made it back to the actual gym, not our fitness room here at our apartment complex.  It was AWESOME!  I missed it more than I even realized.  I’ve come to the conclusion that sometimes just getting through the week is a huge accomplishment.  My health challenges are a little more of an issue than I thought I guess.  Once you’re feeling super good you realize that you were not so good as you first thought.

My Love and I had an amazing weekend as usual.  Yesterday was a fundraiser party for children’s charities.  What a great party it was once again!  A couple of My Love’s products were sponsors of the event.  It was a great celebration!  Lots of silent auction items, and lots of money raised for Denver’s children in need.

I’m trying to figure out what I’d have to write about to get more readers…I think that the past 2 posts I’ve gotten no love on.  I still want to be true to my journey and what I want to do.  I want to be accountable with my workouts and healthy eating.  I want to make sure I’m keeping myself in check with my feelings and try to figure out how to be my best me.  I’m reading personal development books to be my best business self.  I follow healthy living blogs to get ideas for my fit life 🙂

Side note: I’ve started to make vanilla protein, frozen strawberries, banana coconut water smoothies and I’m hooked!  It’s incentive to go kick my butt in the gym!!